Tony Pacitti

On April 1, 2020, I was placed on an eight-week furlough due to the COVID-19 pandemic. My wife, Sondra, was thirty-four weeks pregnant with twin boys. No one hopes for “Catastrophic Health Crisis” and “Unexpected Loss of Income” on their parents-to-be bingo card, but there it was. As I scrambled to get our mortgage deferred, I reminded myself that at least we’d keep our health insurance. It was the only thing that kept me from running through the wall screaming, leaving a cartoon me-shaped hole.

I was honored to participate in the 2023 Postpartum Psychosis Awareness Day storytelling collaboration between The Moth and Cherished Mom.

Our twins, Lorenzo and Max, were born on April 3, 2020. A week later, my wife, Sondra, experienced a 36-hour psychotic episode. I watched helplessly as she spiraled from paranoia to hallucinations to an hours-long bout of screaming every fear and regret I knew she held deep in her heart out into the world.